


Oh, You're Home Early

by Feneris



Category: Gravity Falls, Transcendence AU - Fandom
Genre: Blood, Demons, Dismemberment, Finding Demons Dismembering People in Your Kitchen, Gen, Gore, Kitchens, Transcendence AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 21:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6874891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feneris/pseuds/Feneris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are things you expect to find when you come home from work. Your family, your roommates, maybe even your dog.</p><p>Mark did not expect to find Alcor the Fucking Dreambender in his kitchen with a stack of dismembered bodies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, You're Home Early

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this pic by ThisCat (http://ii-thiscat-ii.tumblr.com/image/144110906671) Thanks to her as well for beta-reading this fic for me. It's not my best nor my favorite piece of work, but I figured I'd post it anyway

"Oh, you're home early!"

There are things you expect to find in your house when you come home from work. Your family, your roommates, your pets. Mark didn't have any of those things. What he had was a small house with a large kitchen that he was planning on selling the moment the house prices got high enough. There shouldn't have been anything in his house when he got home from work, least of all Alcor the Dreambender.

Especially not an Alcor the Dreambender who was holding a freshly dismembered body. 

_"That,"_ Mark thought numbly, _"Is a lot of blood."_  
It was everywhere, splattered across the walls, the ceiling and the pristine white countertops of his kitchen. A growing puddle was spreading across his floor and soaking into the living room carpet. The dismembered remains of at least five bodies were haphazardly stacked on the island in the center of the kitchen, not including the one in Alcor's hand. 

"I'm so sorry about this," Alcor said, slumping the body he was currently carrying over the sink. "I usually have everything cleaned up before you come home." 

Mark's eyes numbly followed the severed head in Alcor's hand, as the demon tossed it in the air and caught it again. He didn't recognize the face, he didn't recognize the faces of any of the people currently being dismembered by the demon. At least the ones that still had faces. 

"U-u-usually!?" Mark choked out. "You've done this before?"  
"Well, you have such a nice big kitchen you never use. It seemed such a shame to let it go to waste," Alcor stated. He plopped the head down on the counter, and gave one of the corpse's arms a twist. It disconnected with a wet ripping sound. "Like I said, I usually have everything cleaned up before you get home. Gosh this is really embarrassing, isn't it?"

"I-I-I-I need to st-step outside for a minute," Mark choked out, trying desperately to keep his cheap to-go dinner down. "I-I probably won't be back for a few hours."

"That's alright," Alcor replied. "I that should give me enough time to finish what I'm doing and clean up a little." He gave another twist to the corpse's other arm. There was a sharp snap of bone. "Have fun."

"Th-th-thank you," Mark stammered out. He stumbled out the door, shut it behind him, and collapsed to his knees. His hands shook wildly as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, and even more as he dialed 9-1-1. "Hello? Emergency? Alcor the Dreambender is currently in my kitchen dismembering people. Send help please."

\---

To its credit, the state of Wyoming had protocols in place for dealing with demons. They didn't however, have protocols in place for dealing with Alcor the fucking Dreambender.

They should evacuate people, everyone agreed. The question was, how many people to evacuate? This was the demon who ripped California to pieces. Evacuate the entire state? Impossible. The entire city then? Also very problematic. It was eventually agreed to evacuate every house within a five block radius of Alcor's location. That should at least give emergency responders room to do their jobs without having to worry about civilians. 

This lead to the second problem. No one actually wanted to confront Alcor, who from all reports was currently still dismembering bodies in Mark's kitchen. Why, no one knew. Mark had been no help in providing an explanation, with magical truth detectors confirming that he honestly had no idea why a demon was taking people apart in his house. 

A heavy-duty military response team had surrounded the house. They were trained for some of the worst threats humanity had the ability to face, but again, this was the demon that sank a state. They would be no match for him, no matter how good they were. No one actually had any idea how they were going to deal with this. So they had settled for surrounding the house, and hoping Alcor eventually got bored and left. 

"My god," One of the snipers who was watching the house moaned, "He's eating them." 

His partner turned just in time to catch Alcor tossing an eyeball into the air and catching it in his mouth like it was skittle. The demon swallowed with a satisfied smile, turned, and gave a cheery wave to the two snipers.

"SHIT! He knows we're here!"

They were all certified badasses. They were the most badass badasses their state had to offer. Holding hands for support did nothing to detract from that. 

\---

After four hours of tense standoff, at least on the part of the military, it was decided to send in a messenger to ask what Alcor's demands were. Lenny Jeckwer was volunteered for the job. Partially because he was new, partially because no one really liked him, and mostly because he had no friends or family who would actually miss him.

Everyone watched with tense anticipation as Lenny walked up the path and knocked on the door of Mark's house. Alcor, covered in blood, promptly answered. They exchanged a few words, and Lenny walked back down the path on shaky legs. 

"What does he want?" 

"He says he wants five minutes to finish cleaning up," Lenny answered.

\---

Exactly five minutes later, the snipers watched Alcor disappear in a poof of black smoke. They waited another five minutes to make sure he was really gone, before storming into Mark's house guns at the ready.

The kitchen was pristine. There was no sign of dismembered bodies, no blood, no stray bits of viscera, nothing at all out of the ordinary. It was like nothing at all had ever happened in Mark's kitchen. 

Thankfully, there was also no sign of Alcor. 

\---

It took a whole month before a state forensics team had finally cleared out of Mark's house and he was allowed to move back into his own home. They were all tight lipped about what their investigation had revealed, but from the few words that leaked back to him, he knew that they didn't find anything. Nothing. Not a single spec of blood. It was like Alcor had never even touched his kitchen. 

Except Mark knew that he was there, in his kitchen, and he had been dismembering dead bodies. He had been apparently doing that for a while...

Mark took another look around his kitchen. He reached for his phone.

"Hey, Jack, this is Mark. Say, how quickly can you sell a house?"


End file.
